Sunday, January 1, 2012

The new year

It is 2012 - a whole new year. I remember looking at my children when they were born and thinking that they were absolutely unscathed - nothing bad had happened to them yet, and it was essentially my job to keep it that way. A new year is sort of like that. Hopes, dreams, intentions - all placed on this infant year.
I've been reading a lot about hopes and the fact that they are a distraction from the here and now, a distraction from being present in your life right now, this life that is happening as I lay on my couch, body happily tired from dancing and visiting with friends and swinging my children round and round. If that's true, and I suspect it might be, it's going to be a long road to cure myself of the hopes addiction. I have always been a forward looking person - someone who believed that the future held infinite possibilities. Imagining those possibilities was a favorite pastime. So I hope I can get a grasp on that this year - less focusing ahead and more right on this spot.
I have a good feeling about this year. My children have a glow about them most of the time that is palpable - they are loved and it shows. I find them both so extraordinary - such amazing creatures that I could never have imagined that I had much of anything to do with their existence. I believe the things that I care about are good things and the things that I pay little attention to deserve little attention. There is joy in life, rich joy, and I think that is a good thing. Simple things - a lovely meal, good company, a loving hug - are so valuable to me. I'm so grateful for the amazing people in my life who love me, and those who challenge me and make me stretch.
So really, what I want from this year, what I would choose were it up to me, is more of the same. There is little that I want for in this life. I'm very lucky, blessed, grateful.

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