Saturday, January 1, 2011

Dancing into the new year

Last year at this time, I had no idea what 2010 would bring. I had no idea that I would have my first successful garden, or raise chickens, or fill my freezer to the brim with fish from Kachemak Bay. I didn't know so much.

I didn't know Liam would continue to grow into a strong, wonderfully caring boy with a silly sense of humor and a passion for the theatrical. I didn't know he would learn to swim, or do incredible things at school, or participate in his first theater performance (and then his second). I didn't know how proud I would be of his burgeoning independence - his ability to scramble an egg and even cook dinner, take care of the chickens and help me when I need a hand. It's not his job to be my right hand man, but he is immensely helpful at times, and I'm grateful.

Théa - a year ago, she was barely talking. Now, she babbles nonstop, generally over her brother, and it's not garbeldygook - it's genuine thoughts. Most recently, shes' starting to express her emotions verbally. Amazing stuff. Really, there is so much, because the difference between two and three is huge. But I'll leave most of that for her birthday post, which is just around the corner. Suffice it to say, the girl is a wonder, and I'm more and more impressed every day I get to know her better. Tired. But impressed.

As for me, I had no more insight about what path my life would take at the beginning of 2011 than I had in my children's. I had no idea that I would find myself this year - that I would finally beat back all the dark clouds of insecurity in my life, and that I would replace them with a joy in life that feels pretty amazing. I also didn't know that I would run a half-marathon, perform my fiddle in public for the first time, spend most of the summer redoing my house from top to bottom. Not a clue. Most of all, though, I didn't know that I would fall in love again. It's a scary, but wonderful, place to be. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel rich beyond belief.

We never really know what's around the corner. We can make projections that may or may not prove to be true based on the best information we have at the time, but in the end, it is so much more than that. There is a randomness and an coincidental nature to the human experience that is amazing and wonderful. It makes me wonder with awe what I don't know about this coming year. I can't wait to find out.

1 comment:

Anika said...


So you saved the best for the most recent. This is excellent! It means, beyond doubt, that not only did you survive Christmas with flying colours, but have managed to stave off those pesky but at times persistent post-holiday blues that sprinkle down with the sleet some days. "...Finally beat back all the dark clouds of insecurity in my life..." These are great things! No small feat, my friend. I don't know why there aren't more commenters here, but let me be the first to clap you hard on the back and say congratulations! I think we are growing up. I too have had a surprising, even phenomenal, year. Who knew this time last year? Boy, it is wonderful to be one year older! (Love to you and yours.)