S-L-E-E-P

Thea slept through the night four times this week. Finally, all those late-night tears are starting to pay off. She woke last night at 2 and went back to sleep but woke again at 3 and I nursed her. She has a cold, and I was tired by then, so I caved. But she slept from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m.- eight glorious hours - all on her own doing four times this week. Oh, the joy.

I keep catching myself willing Thea to learn how to crawl. Part of me, a big part, is ready for her to move on to this next stage so she can entertain herself more readily. I know, I know, I'm crazy, because what she will be entertaining herself with is ever thing that is currently out of bounds. But I pulled out those baby books again and if Liam is any predictor, she's still a month away from crawling. We'll see.

Matt came back from his first assignment on Friday night, fuzzy-faced and exhausted but glad to be home. Liam was so happy to see him, but at the same time, the anxiety he has been expressing about being "left behind" seems to only have gotten worse since Matt's return. Example: I go to take the trash to the trash cans 20 feet from the front door and come back to tears and a panic-stricken boy trying to get his boots on to chase after me. It's obvious that this year's fire season is having an impact in much greater ways than ever before.

Sounds like he will head out again this weekend or so, hopefully back before we go to Victoria and Vancouver, and then out again while we are gone. There is so much to think about, the rental has to get rented, painted, etc. The grass in the yard is getting high and I don't even know if I can get the weed-eater started.... but I try to take it one day at a time and remember that every season passes and a new one comes before you even know what hit you.

Birth and death

Today I had to put down our cat Tasha. That in itself was drama enough - I realized last night that she wasn't doing well after a month of losing weight, she was starting to have trouble standing up, etc. So this morning I took her in hoping they would tell me that there was a magic cure, but they said what I pretty much already knew. We had already eliminated all the fixable stuff. All that was left were the big nasties like cancer. So I gave her some love, cried some, and let her go.

Then came the tough part. I had to tell Liam. This was the first animal he'd ever lost, and really his first brush with death up close. We sat on the steps of his preschool and talked about it when I picked him up. We decided to go get some flowers to put at her grave and then get a nice rock from the beach to put out there, too. He asked a lot of questions. Was she flat like a bug when you make a bug dead? Will my other cat die, too? Why couldn't the doctors inside her fix her?

All through town, he held on to the bouquet of plastic flowers we picked out and told everyone about his cat dieing. When we got home, he sprinted to the spot I told him she was buried and "planted" the flowers. Then he set to work on the rock, and wow, did he do a great job. He painted a cat (I'll post that picture later) with claws and lots of fur, and then a rainbow. He must have been at it for more than a half-hour. I was very impressed.




Through the day, it came up here and there. He was bummed that we couldn't put the rock out right away but had to wait for the varnish to dry. After dinner, we found some pictures of her and he put one up in his room.

All in all, I feel like we did OK. But we'll see how far through the night we get. He's been waking up every night now for most of the past week, and not really clear why. But on the phone night before last, he was concerned that Matt's clothes were going to get burned, so I think it is especially hard this year for him as he becomes more conscious of his dad's job and the risks it entails.

Anyway, it was a dramatic day, and one for the record books. But now, I'm running on no more than five hours of sleep, and if I don't go to bed now, I may get taken away in a padded suit tomorrow.

So here's to Tasha - she was a dramatic, loving, silly, sweet, obnoxious, troublesome spit-fire of a cat. She will be missed.

Flashbacks

Two days ago, my sister-in-law Jennifer got her induction into the motherhood club with the birth of Kirra. The whole thing catapulted me back to those early days with Thea (I've completely blocked out the early days with Liam, which is why I created this blog to help with retention!)

All I can say is how glad I am to be out of that phase. I have a friend who calls it the fourth trimester, and that's really true. These babies when they first come out are so vulnerable and so easily overwhelmed. One new mother I know wore her baby (who, I might add was a wee little thing) around in a sling for the first month or two pretty much all the time. It seemed to work really well for them both. I'm sure I tried that at some point, and it didn't work, but you'd think it would. All that baby really wants is to be snuggled right next to you with free access to the boob all the time.

This week, Thea has had so many firsts. She had her first solo expedition in the bathtub tonight and loved it, of course. I had a pang of sadness for a second, which is very unlike me. Bath-time has always been fun with her and I, she gets all calm and floaty. But it sure is easier to be out of the tub than in. She also drank from a regular cup for the first time. And she's eating "stars" by hand.

This thing with the stars is so huge. This puffy cereal-like starter finger-food was something we used with Liam, and they melt in your mouth, so they get practice early on with solid-like food, but don't choke if they get it wrong. But what got me about Thea and these stars isn't that she loves them, it was the determination with which she worked at getting them in her mouth. She attacked those stars with such focus and drive, it was almost scary. And she's getting it. That finger "pincher" coordination is really big stuff, and she's getting it by pure force of will. It was, I have to admit, a little scary to watch.

Thea still isn't crawling, but she's not staying put, either. I saw her pushing herself around by sliding on her face today. I'm telling you, the girl has drive. We had her six-month check-up the other day, and she was 18-plus pounds, 100th percentile for height and 90th for weight.

Unending days

This weekend was one of those so crammed with activity that at times, I had to do those deep belly breaths to keep it together, like this afternoon, driving back from a friend's house where I was rescuing some carpet from a trip to the dump and Thea was hollering her head off and Liam was reciting some crash-boom-bam story at top volume despite my pleas for silence....serenity now!!

Yesterday, the new stove arrived. Black, shiny and beautiful, promises of no shower of sparks, and with an instruction booklet about the size of an encyclopedia. For those who have natural gas hooked to their home, that instruction booklet could be tossed pretty much aside, but not us. We've got propane, so we had to convert it.

Knowing that many brains are better than few, I invited some friends over to help move the stove in and offer moral support on the conversion front. So I made kabobs and my friend Emilie cooked them on my defunct grill with one setting - scorch. And we even managed the vegetarian component easily, and the kid component. And the stove made it inside - but we needed another piece, of course. That would have to wait.

Today, when Thea went down for her morning nap, Liam and I headed down to the rental cabin to attack removing the carpet, which is beyond toast. The place was in need of some tlc all over, but I can only do it in little pieces, so I opted to take out the carpet in the entry way of the room. Liam happily hammered things while I tugged, pulled, removed, and cleaned. I washed the whole area down with bleach water and pondered what to do with it all.

Liam had one freak-out moment this morning, however, when I said "I'm going out and you can follow me after." He came outside all teary eyed - apparently he thought I meant I was going into town. Where does he come up with this stuff? Nevertheless, he does miss his dad and my frantic pace is obviously wearing him out, too.

Thea woke up and we went into town for the parts we needed to finish the stove. Going to the hardware store with two kids typically results in one of two things: Either you get someone helping you who is awash in respect or you get the guy I got today - totally condescending and ultimately wrong in what he sold me because he didn't stop long enough to listen to what I was saying.

So we got some stuff, came home, found out we needed more stuff, went back, got more stuff, came back, put it all together, put soapy water on it, turned it on and watched it bubble. BUBBLES BAAADDDD.

So, I tried another combination of fittings and stuff. More bubbles. So I called a friend, who happened to be on the fire truck today, and they came up and very efficiently put the fittings together. I think the only difference was they used some goop that sealed it all up, but whatever. No bubbles.

Then, we turned it on and found out the oven setting hadn't been adjusted, resulting in two-foot flames coming up from below. BAAAD. So they fixed that, too, which resulted in much climbing on the floor, etc.

I figure I have about eight batches of cookies to make tomorrow in my new oven as a thank-you for their help.

As they were leaving, I asked them where they would go to find cheap carpet. Oh, one of the guys said, I have a big piece in the back of my truck right now, but I'm going to the dump soon. I'll go get it right now, I said, so off my now totally wiped out kids and I went to get carpet. We find his house, and actually have to extract the carpet out from under a few cans, etc, in the back of his truck, but voila, carpet.
Then it was leftovers, berry goo all over the place for Thea, Liam actually eating dinner (once a week, tops), bath for Liam, got him to let me use the shower head to wash his hair, Liam out of tub, on the couch with previously-promised popcorn and Wiggles movie, Mom and Thea in the tub for bath, Thea in jammies despite hollering and kicking, Thea upstairs, nurse, bed, back down to Liam, set him up on a chair and give him a waaay overdue haircut, pjs, book, teeth brushed, into bed, water, back into bed, down to close up the rental for the night, threats to Liam about toy removal if he doesn't go to sleep NOW, collapse on couch with beer and mint cookies (not really a good combo, but who cares.)

So it was a very productive day. But. Holy. Smokes. I. Am. Tired. And not just me.
It is now very quiet in this house.

Lurches

Above is Thea's first passport photo, one she will have until she is the ripe old age of 5. Funny, eh?

Thea has been teacher herself mobility with the determination of a pitbull. In the past 48 hours, she has gone from an impressive push-up to pulling her legs up under her and rocking back and forth. At this rate, it's a matter of days, not weeks. Let's hope she gets distracted.

This rapid move toward moving is all the more sad because of the fact that Matt left today for California taking a crew to the fires burning all over the state. I'm not sure where he's going yet, but it's going to be in Northern California. We had about 12 hours to prepare for this exodus, so it was a bit of a shock. I'm pretty sure by the time he gets back, she'll be moving independently one way or another.

The timing isn't great, either, not that it ever is. Over the next two weeks, I have to replace the carpet and clean up the rental cabin on our property and get it ready for re-rental. I also have to install a new kitchen stove. Ours has been broken for several weeks, and the new one arrives on Friday.

I'm up for lots of things, but I know I can't move a stove by myself, so I'm doing the only thing I can do ... I'm throwing a stove-moving party. It's actually a great excuse to have people over without doing a lot of cooking. I'll have to get really creative!

Liam is having a hard time with Matt's leaving this time. He's been thrashy and crashy all day, but a few extra stories and a nice bath and he settled down into his normal self this evening. But it is tough to talk to him about this stuff because he's so young, he hardly knows what it is that is bothering him.

The other thing I have to do while Matt is gone is try to get Thea sleeping through the night. It is just a whole lot easier when he is gone to deal with her crying for long periods. But to do it, I've got to train myself to go to bed earlier - which means I have to publish this post and get going.

It's funny how the hardest of challenges brings out my most efficient self. We'll see how long I can keep it up.

time warp

It has taken me 10 minutes to log into this blog. I thought I knew the password, but then it didn't work, and when I tried to go back, it told me my username didn't exist.
After some dawdling in existential crisis, I confirmed that I did in fact exist, and did also know the password, and here we are.

But everything seems to be taking longer these days. Except Thea.

Thea has catapulted herself into the world in an amazing way. Every time we go to the grocery store, we are stopped at every corner with adoring fans smiling at her. She smiles her full-body smile right back, and makes their day. We, her servants, answer the questions about how old she is, and yes, that is a natural Mohawk she has (is that a pc term anymore??) While this dance repeats itself all over town, it is a bit taxing for the eldest child of the family. He stares at his feet - shuffles a bit, and starts the "Hey, Mom, let's gooooo" routine well before Thea is done delighting the crowds. A few casual comments are thrown his way. "So, how do you like being a big brother?" But it is not nearly enough to make up for the inequity.

I think if Liam could answer honestly, instead of trying to tell people what he thinks they want to hear, he would say that as much as possible, he tries to ignore that he is a big brother. He doesn't actively work against it, mind you. He just omits it from his life as much as he can.

That is starting slowly to change. Tonight at dinner, when Thea rubbed mashed goo in her hair in such a way that it gave her two spikey horns, Liam and Matt laughed for several minutes straight. Thea joined in at first, then eyed these boys quizzically as if to say, "You're laughing at me, not with me, aren't you?" But then, she was overpowered by her driving force, her complete adoration for everything that is Liam. So she squealed and laughed along with them.

Attagirl.

In addition to working on her PR angle, Thea has been moving rapidly toward improving her mobility. She has pretty much mastered the art of the independent sitting phase and now is moving on. She hates push-ups, but has been struggling through them with vigor, and even gets those little legs up under her from time to time, poised to do the inevitable launch forward - face first into whatever toy lies in her path.

While all children are frustrated by this, Thea is particularly expressive about the inequity into which she was born. Given her druthers, she would already be sauntering about, picking up toys, chasing cats, eating everything in sight. Soon enough, I tell her, but that's like telling a teenager that their driver's license is nothing to get too worked up about.

So, she howls, rocks, growls and gurgles her way through the strength training needed to move on to the next phase -- crawling. And for now, she remains in that angelic calm-before-storm phase where when you put her down somewhere, she pretty much stays there. And while Liam may think he has it rough now, he has no idea how few days are left before Thea can follow him virtually everywhere he goes, get into his stuff, and generally reign terror down on his perfectly ordered world.

I should probably read a thing or two about it all before that happens, eh?

Ultimate indignity

Today, Thea suffered the ultimate indignity - she was peed on by a cat.
As I put her down on her changing pad, I thought - wow, gotta change that diaper garbage - it really stinks. But as I picked sweet Thea up, it wasn't the garbage, but my dear's head that smelled bad. The cat had peed on her changing pad.
The story with our cat, Tasha, is a long one, which I won't go into here. The cliff notes version is that she was my sister's cat, only she kept bopping my sister's youngest kid, so off she went to our house. When Liam was born, she bopped him once, and we tried to find another home for her, but no luck. She's a pain, but she's our pain - at least that's been my stance (not Matt's - he'd like to see her used for fish bait, a direct quote.)
Soooo, on Tuesday, I reached over to pet her and realized she was literally just bones. Nothing there. Wasting away. And I hadn't even noticed. She's a long-haired cat and she keeps to herself most of the time for self preservation's sake. And I've been so busy... guilt, guilt, guilt.
So I bundle up said pile of skin and bones and go to the vet, where they took some blood and couldn't find anything wrong, other than the fact that she weighed all of 4.5 pounds. Back at home, Tasha enjoyed the special treatment and the special food even more. But somewhere between yesterday and today, she decided to express herself on Thea's changing pad.
Wait - it gets worse.
So I lean down to pull out the garbage bag and a waft of stench comes from down there, too. I find a fresh cat turd behind the can. So I clean it all up, muttering, then clean up my kid so she no longer smells like cat pee, and walk outside with the garbage bag, where I run into Hannah the yellow lab.
Hannah has found something really stinky somewhere in her wanders and rolled in it. I'm not talking a little around the neck - I'm talking full-body roll. From head to toe- brown goo.
It was at this point that I think I may have hollered something, because a wide-eyed Liam popped his head out the door to find out what was going on.
But, for all the fuss, Thea fared well through the whole thing and is working on one of her sleepiest days in recent memory. May it continue and continue and continue.